Have you ever wondered why there are so many illegal foreign workers here in Malaysia? I’d imagine the most common answer is porous border. Now, how porous our borders are?

Well, the Malaysian-Singaporean border is very, very porous. Technically, you need to present some kind of identification to enter Malaysia – most of the times, it’s passport. In reality, there, you really don’t need any ID. Just cross the border at the immigration center; Malaysian immigration officers won't mind.

At least, that was what I experienced. I’m not sure how widespread it is but I certainly hope that this is an isolated issue. My friend however told me that this happens all the time.

At the border, I spent approximately an hour negotiating red tapes - not too bad considering the amount of people there.

The Singaporean half was kind of easy. Choose which counter(s) is (are) for Malaysians, line up, go to an immigration officer, make sure to get your passport stamped and then you’re on your way to Johor, of which, the last time I checked, was still part of Malaysia. Johor’s restroom state convinces me that Johor is in fact a Malaysian state.

On the Malaysian half, it was, surprisingly, much more, goddamned, easier. Notice the number of superlative adjectives. Look out for counter with the longest line, cut through some non-existence lines, rumble through pass an opening of what seems to be a set of five electronic counters – four were closed by the way while three immigration officers were having a chat that concerned something apparently more important than national security - and then you are free to chew your bubble gum. Nope. No need to stamp or scan your passport.

Given that, I can’t help but wonder why all those aliens are trying very hard to get pass Malaysian navy in order to be in Malaysia illegally. There are, maybe, two ways of trying; trying hard or trying smart.

Here’s a tip to all that plan to enter Malaysia easily and illegally. Get a tourist visa from Singapore, cross the causeway, slip pass the Malaysian immigration officers while they are busy talking about nonsense and - voila! – Welcome to Malaysia.

Seriously though, our security down there is lagging badly. Wait. Lagging is the wrong word. Lacking should be very descriptive. The people in the immigration are being paid for doing practically nothing.