Sunday, December 30, 2001
Euro
This coming new year will be another year with full of surprises. Once the clock marks midnight, the most enthusiastically awaited event for the European, the E-Day will be launched. It’s the launching of the Euro, the so-called rival to the United States’ Dollar.
The Euro was actually introduced in 1999 but its usage, up to now, is limited to financial transaction only. After two years of waiting, the Euro will finally emerge in the daily life of 12 European countries' citizens. The Mirage 2001, Ford and Playstation 2 will be paid in the new Euro, not in Franc, Lire or the Deutsche Mark anymore. The new currency will be the glue that unites the European Union's members as one and makes them more competitive in the game of globalization. The E.U. leaders smile victoriously as they now have another common ground to talk about Europeanism (if that term ever exist).
While they are embracing for the much-awaited changes, the whole world including the Europeans themselves are cautiously observing the situation and hoping the launch of the Euro won’t hurt the European themselves. The American perhaps hope the new project will be a folly and while the Asian countries hope that they will have an alternative to the Dollar. Such a huge change may help catalyst a lot of events and thus, opening up numerous paths into the future for everybody worldwide. If the usage of the Euro is successful, it may encourage dozens of regional currency. One of such region is Southeast Asia, held together by the ASEAN, an EU counterpart for 10 developing nations.
However, for the European citizens, the pizzeria owner in Italy and the pub owner in Germany will be reluctant to accept this change. The conservatives fear that their country identity will be lost forever. The Franc has been synonym with the Frenchmen since the dawn of the French Empire. Once the Euro takes over, the will be no more Franc that will be related to France. The French will for certain lost a French identity. I see this currency conversion is similar to the lost of the New York World Trade Center in September. As the Twin Towers crumbled down to earth, the American lost part of their soul. Surely, the magnitude of the lost of the Franc to the common Frenchmen is as huge as the lost of the Twin Towers to the Americans. For the Germans, the pharse "eine schnelle Mark machen" (in English, to make a fast D-Mark) are senseless without the Deutsche Mark*. It seems to me that Europeanism is sacking each and every distinct Europeans' cultures.
While I'll be celebrating the New Year in Chicago, I will certainly remember that on the eve of first January, the Europeans are betting their head for a better future. It may turn ugly but let us just hope that the Euro will be a good development for us. We don’t need another folly that will affect the whole population of Earth. We don’t need to suffer more than we do.
The words marked by " * " is taken from Andreas Purkott's entry in EUROTRASH.
Visit the official Euro site for the E-Day.
This coming new year will be another year with full of surprises. Once the clock marks midnight, the most enthusiastically awaited event for the European, the E-Day will be launched. It’s the launching of the Euro, the so-called rival to the United States’ Dollar.
The Euro was actually introduced in 1999 but its usage, up to now, is limited to financial transaction only. After two years of waiting, the Euro will finally emerge in the daily life of 12 European countries' citizens. The Mirage 2001, Ford and Playstation 2 will be paid in the new Euro, not in Franc, Lire or the Deutsche Mark anymore. The new currency will be the glue that unites the European Union's members as one and makes them more competitive in the game of globalization. The E.U. leaders smile victoriously as they now have another common ground to talk about Europeanism (if that term ever exist).
While they are embracing for the much-awaited changes, the whole world including the Europeans themselves are cautiously observing the situation and hoping the launch of the Euro won’t hurt the European themselves. The American perhaps hope the new project will be a folly and while the Asian countries hope that they will have an alternative to the Dollar. Such a huge change may help catalyst a lot of events and thus, opening up numerous paths into the future for everybody worldwide. If the usage of the Euro is successful, it may encourage dozens of regional currency. One of such region is Southeast Asia, held together by the ASEAN, an EU counterpart for 10 developing nations.
However, for the European citizens, the pizzeria owner in Italy and the pub owner in Germany will be reluctant to accept this change. The conservatives fear that their country identity will be lost forever. The Franc has been synonym with the Frenchmen since the dawn of the French Empire. Once the Euro takes over, the will be no more Franc that will be related to France. The French will for certain lost a French identity. I see this currency conversion is similar to the lost of the New York World Trade Center in September. As the Twin Towers crumbled down to earth, the American lost part of their soul. Surely, the magnitude of the lost of the Franc to the common Frenchmen is as huge as the lost of the Twin Towers to the Americans. For the Germans, the pharse "eine schnelle Mark machen" (in English, to make a fast D-Mark) are senseless without the Deutsche Mark*. It seems to me that Europeanism is sacking each and every distinct Europeans' cultures.
While I'll be celebrating the New Year in Chicago, I will certainly remember that on the eve of first January, the Europeans are betting their head for a better future. It may turn ugly but let us just hope that the Euro will be a good development for us. We don’t need another folly that will affect the whole population of Earth. We don’t need to suffer more than we do.
The words marked by " * " is taken from Andreas Purkott's entry in EUROTRASH.
Visit the official Euro site for the E-Day.
Thursday, December 27, 2001
I woke from a satisfying slumber at nine in the morning at Madison after a long journey from Minneapolis. As I awake, I found my friend's place is as quiet as a library. I struggled to open my too weak eyelids, trying to stay awake. The eyes can't be stimulated by the lights of the sweet morning as my iris was trying to adjust its radius, adjusting itself quickly to allow the retina to receive a right amount of light. The muscles felt so refreshed but still, it was expectedly weak. I tried to get up from the comfortable airbed but all the fight against slumber looked useless but yet I succeeded. I stood up, seeing blurred images, still trying to pull out my consciousness from somewhere in this world. I opened the room door and see two of my friends sleeping in the living room. I know they were exhausted from the travel. The journey is not over yet. In front of us, in the time dimension that is irreversible, lays more than 24 hours of drive. I wandered around a little bit. I couldn't find my other friend. Perhaps he's out. Nothing else to do, I returned back to bed that I'd slept on and sat on it. The pillow looked so tempting but I must continue my fight to stay wake. I stood up again and sat on a chair in front of a computer desk. I keyed in a few commands into the computer and made the winamp to play a long list of mp3s.
Heaven, it's so comfortable here. It is making me to not wanting to travel. I just want to stay here and just rest. Back in Minneapolis, before I closed the car door, there was a small voice inside my head saying "Hafiz, don't go. I know you like it here. Just stay here. Let them go and suffer the exhaustion...” I didn't succumb that voice as I know I was the one that said in Ann Arbor in the first place "I must get out from here for at least for awhile". Thus, I pulled the car door and say "Alright, let’s go".
Now, here in Madison for the second time, I really don't want to go into that Ford Taurus and head straight to Indiana. The journey seems to take forever. The journey will make me entangled into uneasiness. A scenario change from a cozy padded chair to the ever-moving seat in a vehicle makes me feel unpleasant. After a blink of the eyes, my mind went though time, remembering vividly sometime in the past, the virtual confession I've made inside a sleep. I am a conservative. I am. No matter how much I hate to label myself with that, I can't lie to myself.
Maybe, that's why I hate changes so much. I've tried so many a time trying to prevent changes but too often, my acts were useless. Some changes can't be stopped. A person just can't force the world to move aside with brute forces. A person just can't push the Great Wall with both of his hands. Even Sir Isaac Netwon declared that there is no work done by that action. Knowing this, why I'm still swimming against the current? Again, I know the answer.
I'm just scared of life. I'm afraid of the consequences. I can't blame myself for that. My life is shaped by experience. I learned from experience, much like everybody else who is trying to achieve a better life. However, I'm different. While trying to reach a better life, I'm trying to hold everything else as constants so that I can just focus in one main direction. It's a hard doing and I even starting to think that what I'm doing is a vain act. Life is so hard but here I am; better off from millions of others. Yet, here I am, complaining, hating changes. Why I hate it so much?
Unfamiliarity, Uneasiness, unstable, ignorant, incapable, dissatisfaction. I'm afraid all of those words. There are more but in a way or another, it has the same negative meanings.
Yet, as I traveled on the interstate freeway, my surroundings were painted with the clean white snow; the skies were the unimaginable elvish blue. It was a beautiful sight. And it was caused by a change. A scenario change from the metropolis of Minneapolis to the countryside of Madison. Maybe, this is the reason why I must endure changes, for better or for worse.
Heaven, it's so comfortable here. It is making me to not wanting to travel. I just want to stay here and just rest. Back in Minneapolis, before I closed the car door, there was a small voice inside my head saying "Hafiz, don't go. I know you like it here. Just stay here. Let them go and suffer the exhaustion...” I didn't succumb that voice as I know I was the one that said in Ann Arbor in the first place "I must get out from here for at least for awhile". Thus, I pulled the car door and say "Alright, let’s go".
Now, here in Madison for the second time, I really don't want to go into that Ford Taurus and head straight to Indiana. The journey seems to take forever. The journey will make me entangled into uneasiness. A scenario change from a cozy padded chair to the ever-moving seat in a vehicle makes me feel unpleasant. After a blink of the eyes, my mind went though time, remembering vividly sometime in the past, the virtual confession I've made inside a sleep. I am a conservative. I am. No matter how much I hate to label myself with that, I can't lie to myself.
Maybe, that's why I hate changes so much. I've tried so many a time trying to prevent changes but too often, my acts were useless. Some changes can't be stopped. A person just can't force the world to move aside with brute forces. A person just can't push the Great Wall with both of his hands. Even Sir Isaac Netwon declared that there is no work done by that action. Knowing this, why I'm still swimming against the current? Again, I know the answer.
I'm just scared of life. I'm afraid of the consequences. I can't blame myself for that. My life is shaped by experience. I learned from experience, much like everybody else who is trying to achieve a better life. However, I'm different. While trying to reach a better life, I'm trying to hold everything else as constants so that I can just focus in one main direction. It's a hard doing and I even starting to think that what I'm doing is a vain act. Life is so hard but here I am; better off from millions of others. Yet, here I am, complaining, hating changes. Why I hate it so much?
Unfamiliarity, Uneasiness, unstable, ignorant, incapable, dissatisfaction. I'm afraid all of those words. There are more but in a way or another, it has the same negative meanings.
Yet, as I traveled on the interstate freeway, my surroundings were painted with the clean white snow; the skies were the unimaginable elvish blue. It was a beautiful sight. And it was caused by a change. A scenario change from the metropolis of Minneapolis to the countryside of Madison. Maybe, this is the reason why I must endure changes, for better or for worse.
Saturday, December 22, 2001
"Another head hangs lowly, child is slowly taken
And the violence caused such silence
Who are we mistaken
But you see it's not me, it's not my family
In your head, in your head, they are fighting
With their tanks, and their bombs
And their bombs, and their guns
In your head, in your head they are cryin'
In your head, in your head, Zombie, Zombie
In your head, what's in your head Zombie
Another mother's breaking heart is taking over
When the violence causes silence
We must be mistaken
It's the same old theme since 1916
In your head, in your head they're still fightin'
With their tanks, and their bombs
And their bombs, and their guns
In your head, in your head they are dyin'
In your head, in your head, Zombie, Zombie
In your head, what's in your head Zombie "
Listening to certain music will certainly make me think of a unwanted situation. A situation where war is everywhere; peace is nothing but a vain hope.
War is humanity greatest enemy. It kills lives unnecessarily, without mercy, without a second thought. Nevertheless, human long history has been tainted with blood. The red cold blood.
Can you imagine a child, who knows nothing of the cruel world, hugging her dead father body in the middle of a crossfire between two different group with different ideology. Both sides keep on firing; the child keeps on begging her father to wake up, hoping that her father will open his eyes and bring safety to her. She will keeps on hoping haplessly in the middle of the battlefield. The war will continue on. The firing will not stop. Never, ever.
Will you cry? Will you be indifferent? Will you be moved to run toward that child and pull her over? Will you say to yourself, "It's too bad but I have my own life to live"? Or will you stop the war?
I myself am not very sure what I would do in that situation, seeing a child in the middle of a war. Of course, I, right now, in Minnesota, in a comfortable friend's house, in front of a state-of-the-art laptop, knowing that I am safe here, knowing nothing of the real pain of war, will say, "Stop the war!!! For pity sake, cease firing!!!". That's a typical peace loving human. A peace lover will say anything but I doubt that I will ever go into the fire zone, run to the child aid, risking my precious life. In my opinion, most of the typical peace lovers will join the anti-war rally in the middle of the street but will be reluctant to join the people who are in the battle zone. I, myself included. By saying this, I'm not denying that there is somebody out there that really has the courage to fight for peace. To them, my uttermost respect.
However, isn't fighting for peace, with M-16, Ak, etc. is an act of war itself?
In order to save the child, we send a bomb to both sides, killing all, including the child that we are going to save.
Peace, to achieve peace, we commit the crime of war. To let peace prevail, we force peace onto war. Isn't that an act of war itself?
Maybe, right now you are thinking that I'm a person that thinks this is a world that just consists of black and white. Grey area is a non-existence. Well, in a way, I'm including the whole colors of this ironic world. Peace and war, they are two different terms describing one, single thing. Peace and war, they co-exist with each other. They are symbiotic to each other. Peace and war, they are yin and yang. Omnipresent, ominous.
In a battlefield, two sides, one is a rebel group, fighting for their state's independence for the oppressive central power. The other is the government force, trying to preserve the integrity of the state for being torn apart by the cruel rebel. A girl, weeping in front of a dead body, innocent. The rebel, fighting for the future of their children. The government, fighting to preserve peace. The child, innocent, just wanting a peaceful life.
Will we help stop the war?
Will we help the child without any regard for our live?
Will we sit back and think who is right and who is wrong first?
There is a reason for peace. There is a reason for war but the fight is not merely between good and evil. It's a combination of both. No sides are purely a devil, purely a saint.
And the violence caused such silence
Who are we mistaken
But you see it's not me, it's not my family
In your head, in your head, they are fighting
With their tanks, and their bombs
And their bombs, and their guns
In your head, in your head they are cryin'
In your head, in your head, Zombie, Zombie
In your head, what's in your head Zombie
Another mother's breaking heart is taking over
When the violence causes silence
We must be mistaken
It's the same old theme since 1916
In your head, in your head they're still fightin'
With their tanks, and their bombs
And their bombs, and their guns
In your head, in your head they are dyin'
In your head, in your head, Zombie, Zombie
In your head, what's in your head Zombie "
Listening to certain music will certainly make me think of a unwanted situation. A situation where war is everywhere; peace is nothing but a vain hope.
War is humanity greatest enemy. It kills lives unnecessarily, without mercy, without a second thought. Nevertheless, human long history has been tainted with blood. The red cold blood.
Can you imagine a child, who knows nothing of the cruel world, hugging her dead father body in the middle of a crossfire between two different group with different ideology. Both sides keep on firing; the child keeps on begging her father to wake up, hoping that her father will open his eyes and bring safety to her. She will keeps on hoping haplessly in the middle of the battlefield. The war will continue on. The firing will not stop. Never, ever.
Will you cry? Will you be indifferent? Will you be moved to run toward that child and pull her over? Will you say to yourself, "It's too bad but I have my own life to live"? Or will you stop the war?
I myself am not very sure what I would do in that situation, seeing a child in the middle of a war. Of course, I, right now, in Minnesota, in a comfortable friend's house, in front of a state-of-the-art laptop, knowing that I am safe here, knowing nothing of the real pain of war, will say, "Stop the war!!! For pity sake, cease firing!!!". That's a typical peace loving human. A peace lover will say anything but I doubt that I will ever go into the fire zone, run to the child aid, risking my precious life. In my opinion, most of the typical peace lovers will join the anti-war rally in the middle of the street but will be reluctant to join the people who are in the battle zone. I, myself included. By saying this, I'm not denying that there is somebody out there that really has the courage to fight for peace. To them, my uttermost respect.
However, isn't fighting for peace, with M-16, Ak, etc. is an act of war itself?
In order to save the child, we send a bomb to both sides, killing all, including the child that we are going to save.
Peace, to achieve peace, we commit the crime of war. To let peace prevail, we force peace onto war. Isn't that an act of war itself?
Maybe, right now you are thinking that I'm a person that thinks this is a world that just consists of black and white. Grey area is a non-existence. Well, in a way, I'm including the whole colors of this ironic world. Peace and war, they are two different terms describing one, single thing. Peace and war, they co-exist with each other. They are symbiotic to each other. Peace and war, they are yin and yang. Omnipresent, ominous.
In a battlefield, two sides, one is a rebel group, fighting for their state's independence for the oppressive central power. The other is the government force, trying to preserve the integrity of the state for being torn apart by the cruel rebel. A girl, weeping in front of a dead body, innocent. The rebel, fighting for the future of their children. The government, fighting to preserve peace. The child, innocent, just wanting a peaceful life.
Will we help stop the war?
Will we help the child without any regard for our live?
Will we sit back and think who is right and who is wrong first?
There is a reason for peace. There is a reason for war but the fight is not merely between good and evil. It's a combination of both. No sides are purely a devil, purely a saint.
Thursday, December 20, 2001
"Three Rings for the Elven-kings under the sky,
Seven for the Dwarf-Lords in their halls of stone,
Nine for Mortal Men doomed to die,
One for the Dark Lord on his dark throne,
In the Land of Mordor where the Shadows lie.
One Ring to rule them all, One Ring to find them,
One Ring to bring them all and in darkness bind them,
In the Land of Mordor where the Shadows lie."
- J.R.R. Tolkien, The Lord of the Rings.
The Lord of the Rings.
I first read the book just before I was admitted into the University of Technology, Petronas in 2000. It took awhile for my poor eyes to read the end of the book for I was quite busy trying to adapt to my new lifestyle. Only when I was settling comfortably in Shah Alam did I managed to finish that great Tolkien work. The book truly change my ways of writing. I started to write by describing everything with beautiful words; my vocabulary was dramatically improved by leap and bound; my imagination was being lifted to the young blue sky. The Lord of the Rings is the one book that change my entire interest in literature. Before this, my mind was only focusing on sci-fi and nothing but sci-fi. After flipping more than 1000 pages of that dark green book, my heart was opened to other genres. I started to look around for good books instead of looking around just for good sci-fi. I have defended Lucas' before and now, I shall stand firm like a wall for Tolkien's.
The Lord of the Rings is not just another fantasy book where sword and magic rule the world. It's more than that. It's a book that shaped our lovable creatures - the drawves, the elven, the orcs, the goblins. Only one creature remains unknown, that is the Hobbits but with the movie running at the cinema, I bet that the hobbits will be made famous.
The Lord of the Rings is not just another book that is being published just because it is nice to see that book up on the shelf of a bookstore. It's more than that. It's a book that teaches us the meaning of friendship, honor and loyalty. It's about responsibility.
In an ironic way, Lord of the Rings does reflect our life in a certain way. The book was written to reflect our life. The Fellowship of the Rings, the first part of the Lord of the Rings which is wrongly recognized as a trilogy, tells us the meaning of trust and friendship. A broken trust will end with a shattered friendship, just like what happened when Boromir of Dethenor tried to steal the One Ring from Frodo, the ring bearer. Although Boromir greed was not caused by his own but was caused by his noble desire to help Gondor to defeat Mondor, he had broken his pledged to protect Frodo, from himself. Thus, the Company was ruined miserable, for a while at least.
Lord of the Rings teaches us the meaning of courage in the mist of a lost. A daughter of a fallen king rushed to defend his father from the deadly Sauron's, forgetting the danger that lurks at every corner outside the gate of a great city. Sam Gamgee rushed into the Orcs fortress alone to save Frodo although he has the knowledge of failure he will face. It teaches us the meaning of true friendship.
Lord of the Rings teaches us no matter how small we are, responsibility must be carried out regardless of the consequences. Frodo, despite being a small and timid hobbit, volunteered to carry the burden of a ring bearer while others quarrel against each other.
The Lord of the Rings. It's not just another classic...
"Have you seen Boromir the Tall,
He is at grieve and I tarry...
- J.R.R. Tolkien, The Lord of the Rings.
Seven for the Dwarf-Lords in their halls of stone,
Nine for Mortal Men doomed to die,
One for the Dark Lord on his dark throne,
In the Land of Mordor where the Shadows lie.
One Ring to rule them all, One Ring to find them,
One Ring to bring them all and in darkness bind them,
In the Land of Mordor where the Shadows lie."
- J.R.R. Tolkien, The Lord of the Rings.
The Lord of the Rings.
I first read the book just before I was admitted into the University of Technology, Petronas in 2000. It took awhile for my poor eyes to read the end of the book for I was quite busy trying to adapt to my new lifestyle. Only when I was settling comfortably in Shah Alam did I managed to finish that great Tolkien work. The book truly change my ways of writing. I started to write by describing everything with beautiful words; my vocabulary was dramatically improved by leap and bound; my imagination was being lifted to the young blue sky. The Lord of the Rings is the one book that change my entire interest in literature. Before this, my mind was only focusing on sci-fi and nothing but sci-fi. After flipping more than 1000 pages of that dark green book, my heart was opened to other genres. I started to look around for good books instead of looking around just for good sci-fi. I have defended Lucas' before and now, I shall stand firm like a wall for Tolkien's.
The Lord of the Rings is not just another fantasy book where sword and magic rule the world. It's more than that. It's a book that shaped our lovable creatures - the drawves, the elven, the orcs, the goblins. Only one creature remains unknown, that is the Hobbits but with the movie running at the cinema, I bet that the hobbits will be made famous.
The Lord of the Rings is not just another book that is being published just because it is nice to see that book up on the shelf of a bookstore. It's more than that. It's a book that teaches us the meaning of friendship, honor and loyalty. It's about responsibility.
In an ironic way, Lord of the Rings does reflect our life in a certain way. The book was written to reflect our life. The Fellowship of the Rings, the first part of the Lord of the Rings which is wrongly recognized as a trilogy, tells us the meaning of trust and friendship. A broken trust will end with a shattered friendship, just like what happened when Boromir of Dethenor tried to steal the One Ring from Frodo, the ring bearer. Although Boromir greed was not caused by his own but was caused by his noble desire to help Gondor to defeat Mondor, he had broken his pledged to protect Frodo, from himself. Thus, the Company was ruined miserable, for a while at least.
Lord of the Rings teaches us the meaning of courage in the mist of a lost. A daughter of a fallen king rushed to defend his father from the deadly Sauron's, forgetting the danger that lurks at every corner outside the gate of a great city. Sam Gamgee rushed into the Orcs fortress alone to save Frodo although he has the knowledge of failure he will face. It teaches us the meaning of true friendship.
Lord of the Rings teaches us no matter how small we are, responsibility must be carried out regardless of the consequences. Frodo, despite being a small and timid hobbit, volunteered to carry the burden of a ring bearer while others quarrel against each other.
The Lord of the Rings. It's not just another classic...
"Have you seen Boromir the Tall,
He is at grieve and I tarry...
- J.R.R. Tolkien, The Lord of the Rings.
Friday, December 14, 2001
I had my Chemistry 130 final exam just now. I wasn't hard after all. I should have concentrated on Calculus instead of Chemistry. Well, hope I'll get an A for my Chemistry.
I haven't sleep since last night. I'm still awake but slowly losing my consciousness to oblivion. I wonder if I'll miss my Friday prayer. Today may well be the last day of Ramadhan and the possibility of tomorrow being announce as first Syawal is an acceptable assumption but being the person I am, I don't really care about it. Back in Malaysia, I have never been excited about First Syawal. To me, it's just another normal day with some celebration that I don't really care much. The only thing about it is getting a few hundred Ringgit from my parents and wearing my Baju Melayu.
I am falling into the abyss of slumberland. I won't allow myself to fall into the abyss alone. I will try my best to drag you with me.
Have you ever heard the term "Space Elevator"?
It was first introduced to the world by a Russian scientist back in the 60s (I think). It's a fantastic method of transportation to space but has been ignored and regarded by the world community as science fiction. Space Elevator is, much as the name suggested, an elevator. A huge elevator, with a ground base on Earth, connected to a synchronous satellite orbiting the planet. The main reason that make the idea is not feasible at the moment is because of the connector. The connector that needs to be built must be strong enough to withstand against any gust of wind and more importantly, the stress exerted on it. At the present time, there is no such material that is strong enough to make the construction of the Elevator possible. While the connector is an integral part in the construction of the Elevator, the ground base will be the main attraction of activities. The ground base will act as a station, much as a railways station. The ground base must be built on a highland near the equator in order to make full use of the Earth's magnetic field. (This part, which is starting to go into advanced Physics, it is too complicated for me. Therefore, I will not try to explain it further.) The rationale behind building the Elevator on a highland is that the connector that needs to be built will be shorter, thus cutting down cost dramatically.
Meanwhile, the synchronous satellite will act as a another station in space. This satellite may serve dual purpose. One, as a railways station and two, as a space station. With this dual ability, the need to build many space stations such as the Skylab, Mir and the ISS will be eliminated.
Although the building of the Elevator will consume billions of dollars, the long-term benefits far exceed the cost and the liability of the construction. Imagine, a near 100% efficient kind of transportation that use little electricity to be operated, a vehicle where its energy source comes mostly from kinetic and potential energy and, limitless inter-space traffic... Space will be ours for certain.
Sir Arthur C. Clarke wrote a critically acclaimed book about the Elevator. The title of the book is The Fountain of Paradise. Read it. It's a good layman introduction to Space Elevator.
Zzzzzzz...
I haven't sleep since last night. I'm still awake but slowly losing my consciousness to oblivion. I wonder if I'll miss my Friday prayer. Today may well be the last day of Ramadhan and the possibility of tomorrow being announce as first Syawal is an acceptable assumption but being the person I am, I don't really care about it. Back in Malaysia, I have never been excited about First Syawal. To me, it's just another normal day with some celebration that I don't really care much. The only thing about it is getting a few hundred Ringgit from my parents and wearing my Baju Melayu.
I am falling into the abyss of slumberland. I won't allow myself to fall into the abyss alone. I will try my best to drag you with me.
Have you ever heard the term "Space Elevator"?
It was first introduced to the world by a Russian scientist back in the 60s (I think). It's a fantastic method of transportation to space but has been ignored and regarded by the world community as science fiction. Space Elevator is, much as the name suggested, an elevator. A huge elevator, with a ground base on Earth, connected to a synchronous satellite orbiting the planet. The main reason that make the idea is not feasible at the moment is because of the connector. The connector that needs to be built must be strong enough to withstand against any gust of wind and more importantly, the stress exerted on it. At the present time, there is no such material that is strong enough to make the construction of the Elevator possible. While the connector is an integral part in the construction of the Elevator, the ground base will be the main attraction of activities. The ground base will act as a station, much as a railways station. The ground base must be built on a highland near the equator in order to make full use of the Earth's magnetic field. (This part, which is starting to go into advanced Physics, it is too complicated for me. Therefore, I will not try to explain it further.) The rationale behind building the Elevator on a highland is that the connector that needs to be built will be shorter, thus cutting down cost dramatically.
Meanwhile, the synchronous satellite will act as a another station in space. This satellite may serve dual purpose. One, as a railways station and two, as a space station. With this dual ability, the need to build many space stations such as the Skylab, Mir and the ISS will be eliminated.
Although the building of the Elevator will consume billions of dollars, the long-term benefits far exceed the cost and the liability of the construction. Imagine, a near 100% efficient kind of transportation that use little electricity to be operated, a vehicle where its energy source comes mostly from kinetic and potential energy and, limitless inter-space traffic... Space will be ours for certain.
Sir Arthur C. Clarke wrote a critically acclaimed book about the Elevator. The title of the book is The Fountain of Paradise. Read it. It's a good layman introduction to Space Elevator.
Zzzzzzz...
Thursday, December 13, 2001
Hockey again...
Malaysia 0 - 1 South Africa.
So near yet so far... All we need was another pathetic point but we ended up with the fraze of beating up India and losing to both Argentina and South Africa the spoilers. Just like Ohio State. The Wolverines almost for certain will get the Rose Bowl for the Big Ten but there must be a spoiler. Sigh...Life is harsh. For the Citrus Bowl, we are against Tennessee. Louisiana, which was expect to meet us in the Citrus Bowl will be up against Illinois in the Sugar Bowl. Louisiana upsetted somebody else. Another spoiler in the SEC.
On other note, I accidentally created a link to somebody else's site. I'm still looking which line in the source code to be deleted in order to not let my visitors being forced to visit some unrelated sites. Maybe it's because of the new tracker's code that I've added to my code. Maybe I should try to find another free tracker.
I bought a bus ticket to Minneapolis today. It cost me about USD 143. I could have bought it online but instead, I decided that I needed the walking exercise. So, I walked for the Michigan Union to East Huron. Nice. As I walked through the city, I finally realize how beautiful Ann Arbor is. Before this, I thought Ann Arbor is beautiful just because of the greens in the North Campus and the romantic buildings in the Central Campus. Today, I found out why Ann Arbor is called Ann Arbor. The Main St. is marvelous, I would say it is comparable to Madison's State St. Of course Ann Arbor don't have the Capitol replica on a hill like Madison does but still, the mere sight of the heart of Ann Arbor is breathtaking. It's a hidden beauty.
I'm starting to fall in love with the town. I would hate the day when I'll graduate from this University. No wonder my uncle don't want to come back to Malaysia. No wonder he chooses to live in Ann Arbor. No wonder people have been saying that Ann Arbor is the best place for many to do their college year. You can go to M.I.T. or even Princeton but you'll find that only Michigan and a few others offer the intellectual atmosphere to its apex, with a life. M.I.T. doesn't have a stadium but Michigan does. Princeton has many Noble Prize winners but so does Michigan.
Plus, the city is not too minute and not too monstrous. It's just nice. I love it here.
Malaysia 0 - 1 South Africa.
So near yet so far... All we need was another pathetic point but we ended up with the fraze of beating up India and losing to both Argentina and South Africa the spoilers. Just like Ohio State. The Wolverines almost for certain will get the Rose Bowl for the Big Ten but there must be a spoiler. Sigh...Life is harsh. For the Citrus Bowl, we are against Tennessee. Louisiana, which was expect to meet us in the Citrus Bowl will be up against Illinois in the Sugar Bowl. Louisiana upsetted somebody else. Another spoiler in the SEC.
On other note, I accidentally created a link to somebody else's site. I'm still looking which line in the source code to be deleted in order to not let my visitors being forced to visit some unrelated sites. Maybe it's because of the new tracker's code that I've added to my code. Maybe I should try to find another free tracker.
I bought a bus ticket to Minneapolis today. It cost me about USD 143. I could have bought it online but instead, I decided that I needed the walking exercise. So, I walked for the Michigan Union to East Huron. Nice. As I walked through the city, I finally realize how beautiful Ann Arbor is. Before this, I thought Ann Arbor is beautiful just because of the greens in the North Campus and the romantic buildings in the Central Campus. Today, I found out why Ann Arbor is called Ann Arbor. The Main St. is marvelous, I would say it is comparable to Madison's State St. Of course Ann Arbor don't have the Capitol replica on a hill like Madison does but still, the mere sight of the heart of Ann Arbor is breathtaking. It's a hidden beauty.
I'm starting to fall in love with the town. I would hate the day when I'll graduate from this University. No wonder my uncle don't want to come back to Malaysia. No wonder he chooses to live in Ann Arbor. No wonder people have been saying that Ann Arbor is the best place for many to do their college year. You can go to M.I.T. or even Princeton but you'll find that only Michigan and a few others offer the intellectual atmosphere to its apex, with a life. M.I.T. doesn't have a stadium but Michigan does. Princeton has many Noble Prize winners but so does Michigan.
Plus, the city is not too minute and not too monstrous. It's just nice. I love it here.
Hockey (it's field hockey for you American...)
Malaysia lost to Argentina with the final tally of 2 to 1. Now, Malaysia will need to at least fight for a draw against South Africa. Pray.
Malaysia lost to Argentina with the final tally of 2 to 1. Now, Malaysia will need to at least fight for a draw against South Africa. Pray.
Wednesday, December 12, 2001
hmmm...nice...
Domain Name uiuc.edu ? (Educational)
IP Address 130.126.188.# (Various Registries)
Language Setting English
Operating System Unknown Unknown
Browser Netscape 3.01
Mozilla/3.01 (compatible;)
Time Zone UTC-6:00
CST - Central Standard Time
CDT - Central Daylight Saving Time
Visitor's Time Dec 12 2001 2:30:20 am
There's actually no privacy...The Big Brothers are watching you...
Domain Name uiuc.edu ? (Educational)
IP Address 130.126.188.# (Various Registries)
Language Setting English
Operating System Unknown Unknown
Browser Netscape 3.01
Mozilla/3.01 (compatible;)
Time Zone UTC-6:00
CST - Central Standard Time
CDT - Central Daylight Saving Time
Visitor's Time Dec 12 2001 2:30:20 am
There's actually no privacy...The Big Brothers are watching you...
Tuesday, December 11, 2001
I'm so ****ed up. Latest news, Hockey World Cup's Champions' Cup.
Malaysia 2 - 1 India.
3 more points and we'll be in the World Cup!!!
Malaysia 2 - 1 India.
3 more points and we'll be in the World Cup!!!
Sunday, December 09, 2001
7
God...Have you all ever played the Civilization game series?
For you whom haven't visited Earth yet, Civilization series is a game, one of the most famous turn-based strategy games. It's was first developed by Sid Meier at Microprose. That particular game revolutionized the way gamers play games. It revolutionized the entire gaming world. Maybe I'm exaggerating. Well, it did set a new standard for the turn-based strategy game. I had played both Civ. I and Civ.II. I played those two games like it was my life. I can remember which technology needs to be found first, I know what kind of a system suits a government at a particular time and I memorized each and every unit rating point.
The year of 2001 mark another great year for Civ. game series. It is the year when Civilization 3 is released. And after a few weeks it was released, I finally have gotten my dirty hand on that game. I played it non-stop from 0400 till 0730. HAHAHAHAHAHA And my final is next week. I'm done for. Sigh...
Oooo...Ghost in the Shell's main theme, Reincarnation is on. Adam, if you are reading this, I love that anime. Thanks for letting me watch that anime on your laptop.
I have to sleep. My biological clock is running amok. When will all this is going to end? Insomnia...pseudo-insomnia?
Starship Troopers, sucks...
Ten more days to The Lord of the Rings. Eleven more days to freedom. Twenty two more days to 2002. Over five more months to Star Wars Episode II : Attack of the Clones.
I must admit, the name sounds kind of absurd. At least Amidala looks as beautiful as ever...still, that Korean girl in my Econ101 lecture is so beautiful. She is magnificent. Her hair...her face, she so cute...I know her name...heheheh...Leena. Maybe I should take Econ102 just to see her again for next semester. Naughty me.
One ring to rule them all...
A time of love, a time of hate, a time of war, a time of peace, a time you may embrace, a time to rephrase from embracing...
To everything turn, turn, turn, there is a season turn, turn, turn..
There is time for every purpose under heaven...
I called Tody last night just to find out what are we going to do exactly in the snow in Minnesota. He said that we are going to do some snow boarding in Indiana and spend our new in Chicago. Nice. New year eve in Chicago.
Suddenly, I am feeling so nostalgic. I remembering everything that I have felt back in Shah Alam. A lot had happened back there, more than I could cope up with. Everything was fast for me. I'm not talking academically. It's just life. Life. Hmm..I can still remember that Ajim kept saying life sucks in class. Hmm...forget it. It's the past. All that is important to me right now is the present and the future. Right?
Hey, the Russian Red Army Choir is nice. It is the current Russian Federation's national anthem. Thanks to Vladimir Putin.
Alarm clock. Don't you hate it?
Yeah, c’mon Jebai!!! Five more hours and you'll be the guy that has stay awaken for 24 hours. C’mon, you can do it.
I hate the world but I love the world.
God...Have you all ever played the Civilization game series?
For you whom haven't visited Earth yet, Civilization series is a game, one of the most famous turn-based strategy games. It's was first developed by Sid Meier at Microprose. That particular game revolutionized the way gamers play games. It revolutionized the entire gaming world. Maybe I'm exaggerating. Well, it did set a new standard for the turn-based strategy game. I had played both Civ. I and Civ.II. I played those two games like it was my life. I can remember which technology needs to be found first, I know what kind of a system suits a government at a particular time and I memorized each and every unit rating point.
The year of 2001 mark another great year for Civ. game series. It is the year when Civilization 3 is released. And after a few weeks it was released, I finally have gotten my dirty hand on that game. I played it non-stop from 0400 till 0730. HAHAHAHAHAHA And my final is next week. I'm done for. Sigh...
Oooo...Ghost in the Shell's main theme, Reincarnation is on. Adam, if you are reading this, I love that anime. Thanks for letting me watch that anime on your laptop.
I have to sleep. My biological clock is running amok. When will all this is going to end? Insomnia...pseudo-insomnia?
Starship Troopers, sucks...
Ten more days to The Lord of the Rings. Eleven more days to freedom. Twenty two more days to 2002. Over five more months to Star Wars Episode II : Attack of the Clones.
I must admit, the name sounds kind of absurd. At least Amidala looks as beautiful as ever...still, that Korean girl in my Econ101 lecture is so beautiful. She is magnificent. Her hair...her face, she so cute...I know her name...heheheh...Leena. Maybe I should take Econ102 just to see her again for next semester. Naughty me.
One ring to rule them all...
A time of love, a time of hate, a time of war, a time of peace, a time you may embrace, a time to rephrase from embracing...
To everything turn, turn, turn, there is a season turn, turn, turn..
There is time for every purpose under heaven...
I called Tody last night just to find out what are we going to do exactly in the snow in Minnesota. He said that we are going to do some snow boarding in Indiana and spend our new in Chicago. Nice. New year eve in Chicago.
Suddenly, I am feeling so nostalgic. I remembering everything that I have felt back in Shah Alam. A lot had happened back there, more than I could cope up with. Everything was fast for me. I'm not talking academically. It's just life. Life. Hmm..I can still remember that Ajim kept saying life sucks in class. Hmm...forget it. It's the past. All that is important to me right now is the present and the future. Right?
Hey, the Russian Red Army Choir is nice. It is the current Russian Federation's national anthem. Thanks to Vladimir Putin.
Alarm clock. Don't you hate it?
Yeah, c’mon Jebai!!! Five more hours and you'll be the guy that has stay awaken for 24 hours. C’mon, you can do it.
I hate the world but I love the world.
Friday, December 07, 2001
Exams...I should go and sit in front of my lovely wooden desk instead of clicking and typing in front of this crude machine.
Exams...I should thinking of the heat anthropy of water instead of trying to build in new external page for my newly found website. This site is not even worthy to be called of a website.
Exams...I should be revising my mathematics instead of revising my html.
Damn...I missed my maghrib.
Damn...There are no music classes for the winter term.
Damn...It's predicted that snow will be falling tomorrow. Hmm..at least I'll have my vengeance on Azwan once the annual West Quad-South Quad Snow War is declared.
Lets blog a little.
Freedom. Our most cherish right. I love freedom, the thing that I am currently enjoying at this real moment. The United Nations' Declaration of Human Rights clearly states the every human has a right to freedom. Freedom simply means the ability of one to do anything that he or she likes regardless what others think. Freedom....
Although I do believe in freedom, I dare to bet my head that total freedom is a fantasy. I do believe in freedom but I certainly don't trust total freedom and I am grateful that total freedom is a non-existence in this world. Back in my country, some particular populace have voiced out the lack of freedom of speech and press.
Well, I do agree that there is a lack of that kind of freedom in my country but it is for the country own good. It's not that it is my dream for George Orwell's 1984 to become a reality. It's just that the local populace, while demanding freedom, are not responsible in exercising it. They demand every right that they can think of but after successfully seizing it, they begin to misuse it.
That’s why, in my opinion, the local government suppress the freedom of expression and the freedom of the press to a certain degree. I certainly don’t want the people of my beloved country to kick each other’s ass just because some stupid jerk made an interesting statement in the press. I certainly don’t want some bastards to make the traffic in my hometown to come to a stand still just because they aren’t happy with some court ruling. Imagine, getting stuck in a car for a couple of hours just because some dodos are shouting out loud in the middle of the street. And when somebody says it is not right to do that, they say that it is their rights. Yeah…stripping in the middle of a street is also a freedom of expression but noooo...they say that stripping in the middle of the public is against the society's norms.....talks about hypocrisy.
Tody has invited me to pay the Gophers a visit for this coming winter holiday. I have decided to agree with his plan but I’m still in doubt. I want to get out from Ann Arbor because I hate snow. Getting out of Ann Arbor for a while will be nice but going farther north? That’s crazy.
One of my American friends, was excited when he heard I said that I’ll be going somewhere for the holidays. Guess what the word he used when he heard that I would be paying Minneapolis a visit?
“Are you crazy?”
Well, I guess I am. I myself don’t know why I’ll be heading north for winter. I should be heading for SOUTH, not NORTH. Maybe I should take a hammer and knock some senses into my eccentric brain. I should be watching the Wolverines beating up someone else's ass in Miami instead of watching the Gophers play some snowball fight in Minneapolis...
Exams...I should thinking of the heat anthropy of water instead of trying to build in new external page for my newly found website. This site is not even worthy to be called of a website.
Exams...I should be revising my mathematics instead of revising my html.
Damn...I missed my maghrib.
Damn...There are no music classes for the winter term.
Damn...It's predicted that snow will be falling tomorrow. Hmm..at least I'll have my vengeance on Azwan once the annual West Quad-South Quad Snow War is declared.
Lets blog a little.
Freedom. Our most cherish right. I love freedom, the thing that I am currently enjoying at this real moment. The United Nations' Declaration of Human Rights clearly states the every human has a right to freedom. Freedom simply means the ability of one to do anything that he or she likes regardless what others think. Freedom....
Although I do believe in freedom, I dare to bet my head that total freedom is a fantasy. I do believe in freedom but I certainly don't trust total freedom and I am grateful that total freedom is a non-existence in this world. Back in my country, some particular populace have voiced out the lack of freedom of speech and press.
Well, I do agree that there is a lack of that kind of freedom in my country but it is for the country own good. It's not that it is my dream for George Orwell's 1984 to become a reality. It's just that the local populace, while demanding freedom, are not responsible in exercising it. They demand every right that they can think of but after successfully seizing it, they begin to misuse it.
That’s why, in my opinion, the local government suppress the freedom of expression and the freedom of the press to a certain degree. I certainly don’t want the people of my beloved country to kick each other’s ass just because some stupid jerk made an interesting statement in the press. I certainly don’t want some bastards to make the traffic in my hometown to come to a stand still just because they aren’t happy with some court ruling. Imagine, getting stuck in a car for a couple of hours just because some dodos are shouting out loud in the middle of the street. And when somebody says it is not right to do that, they say that it is their rights. Yeah…stripping in the middle of a street is also a freedom of expression but noooo...they say that stripping in the middle of the public is against the society's norms.....talks about hypocrisy.
Tody has invited me to pay the Gophers a visit for this coming winter holiday. I have decided to agree with his plan but I’m still in doubt. I want to get out from Ann Arbor because I hate snow. Getting out of Ann Arbor for a while will be nice but going farther north? That’s crazy.
One of my American friends, was excited when he heard I said that I’ll be going somewhere for the holidays. Guess what the word he used when he heard that I would be paying Minneapolis a visit?
“Are you crazy?”
Well, I guess I am. I myself don’t know why I’ll be heading north for winter. I should be heading for SOUTH, not NORTH. Maybe I should take a hammer and knock some senses into my eccentric brain. I should be watching the Wolverines beating up someone else's ass in Miami instead of watching the Gophers play some snowball fight in Minneapolis...
Thursday, December 06, 2001
Hmm...blogger.com seems to be having a problem. I edited my source code but for days now, nothing happened to "I am above grammar...”.
There seems to be a problem with the weather too. The sun shines from 0800 to 1700, the temperature is well above 6 Celsius, no rain during the day, no snow falling... which is nice for me. The only problem is that it's already December and it is Michigan!!! Michigan is supposed to have one of the worst weather in the whole mid-west. The snow is supposed to be zillion of inches thick. But, no...the sun shines from 0800 to 1700, the temperature is well above 6 Celsius, no rain during the day, no snow falling... which is nice for me. Maybe it's because of global warming. If this is one of the effects of global warming, let the polluting begins!!! But of course, being a self-proclaimed environmentalist, I shall fight the polluters till the day that I die...
Whatever.
I just realize that my final will be coming within two weeks time. Luckily for me, I have started to do some revising. Hope I'll get a good GPA for my first semester. I can't stay here for too long. My chemistry book is waiting for me. Nonetheless, I think I write a little bit more.
Know what? Just now, I came down to the West Quad's ground floor to buy some drinks. As I was walking slowly at my leisure, I saw a couple, lying on the couch near the dining hall, doing god knows what. I think I know what they were doing. I really don't want to interrupt their happy time but what can I do, the vending machine is situated right beside that particular couch. I, having no choice, walked straight to vending machine, pretending not to notice them.
Of course, as a consumer, I exercised my right to choose. I lingered there for a while to make my selection. I was contemplating on whether I should buy a coke or an orange juice. You could say that it took me about 5 minutes just to decide. And those 5 minutes really interfered with their activity. They left before I made my choice. Pity, I would like to stay there until they are done but heck, they need privacy for their program. Sigh...
There seems to be a problem with the weather too. The sun shines from 0800 to 1700, the temperature is well above 6 Celsius, no rain during the day, no snow falling... which is nice for me. The only problem is that it's already December and it is Michigan!!! Michigan is supposed to have one of the worst weather in the whole mid-west. The snow is supposed to be zillion of inches thick. But, no...the sun shines from 0800 to 1700, the temperature is well above 6 Celsius, no rain during the day, no snow falling... which is nice for me. Maybe it's because of global warming. If this is one of the effects of global warming, let the polluting begins!!! But of course, being a self-proclaimed environmentalist, I shall fight the polluters till the day that I die...
Whatever.
I just realize that my final will be coming within two weeks time. Luckily for me, I have started to do some revising. Hope I'll get a good GPA for my first semester. I can't stay here for too long. My chemistry book is waiting for me. Nonetheless, I think I write a little bit more.
Know what? Just now, I came down to the West Quad's ground floor to buy some drinks. As I was walking slowly at my leisure, I saw a couple, lying on the couch near the dining hall, doing god knows what. I think I know what they were doing. I really don't want to interrupt their happy time but what can I do, the vending machine is situated right beside that particular couch. I, having no choice, walked straight to vending machine, pretending not to notice them.
Of course, as a consumer, I exercised my right to choose. I lingered there for a while to make my selection. I was contemplating on whether I should buy a coke or an orange juice. You could say that it took me about 5 minutes just to decide. And those 5 minutes really interfered with their activity. They left before I made my choice. Pity, I would like to stay there until they are done but heck, they need privacy for their program. Sigh...
Sunday, December 02, 2001
4
It seems that I just can't stop writing. I wonder why life is so meaningless, for me, at least at 0419.
I looked back through time. I started to count how many friends that I have made so far...currently, I guess the number far surpassed 500. It may well reach 1000. I wonder, what fractions of that number does have a feeling of hatred against me. I wonder, what I have done, trying to figure out what are needed to be done. I'm clueless and confused.
Why it is always hard for people to understand me? Why it is always me who has to understand others?
In my life, I have always tried to divert any conflict from myself. I react only when being struck directly. If you know me and observed me like the Watcher observed the Marvel Comics' Universe, you'll find that I am similar to the bee. If you do not want to be attacked, don't disturb the hive. For instance, when a guy from the top of OPP's administration accused us of making slanderous statement on OPP's reputation, I fought back. And if you realized, right now I'm having a cold war with two Illini; it happened because of the "Muck Fischigan" phrase. There a lot of thing that I can give as examples but it would take my whole lifetime to write it down. But that will make me no different than Scrooge McDuck. It will make me no different than a sore loser.
It will make me no different from the lowlife that attacked me.
As I reflected back in my life, I realized, that I lived my life the way I was dictated. By my parents, by friends, by the schools, by the media, by the government, by the Law of Physics and by God. From now on, I am going to decide my own destiny. I'll write up my own philosophy. Plato, Socrates, Tun Sri Lanang, Napolean, Peter, Einstein, Sun Tsu, Bush, Asoka, Vajiravuht, Mahathir, Mao, watch out. I'll make you to turn over in your grave, tomorrow.
Why am I writing this?
I don't know. "There's no reason in life...". I can't say that I can agree with that. There's reason. There are reasons. It's just that it is too hard to find it. The reason is so deep, it's beyond the event horizon's boundary. It's in the void. But when you think you know what the reasons are, another realization will creep up into your empty mind. Everything comes head to head. Suddenly, the whole reasons don't confer with each other. If you say I am gibberishing...ask yourself this question, is there God? If there is, how do you know?
Whatever the answer might be, I personally believe in God. But sometimes, where you read too much, anything can happen. Are you familiar with the Theory of Everything? A friend of mine who is in M.I.T. gave an equation, N = NP. Just pray that N does not equal to NP. If it does, then, Islam, Christianity, Judaism... will become obsolete.
One reason of life...is it love?
Love is so beautiful. So beautiful that you'll feel as if you've set your feet in heaven's uppermost level. So beautiful as if there is nothing more important than love. Yet, love can be painful. So painful that you feel like your heart is being crush by a morningstar slowly. I cried once, in the dark. While I was crying, I thought amazingly a lot. It's like every thought that can be thought by a human passed through my consciousness within a short frame of eternity. A computer would crash but for a human - insanity. From love, anger will emerge. A burning fire, hotter than the white dwarf's, worse than hell, runs awild in one's mind. Maybe what Yoda said in Star Wars is the truth. Fear leads to anger, anger leads to hatred, hatred leads to the dark side...
God, thy love is endless. Love thy humble servant. Please.
It seems that I just can't stop writing. I wonder why life is so meaningless, for me, at least at 0419.
I looked back through time. I started to count how many friends that I have made so far...currently, I guess the number far surpassed 500. It may well reach 1000. I wonder, what fractions of that number does have a feeling of hatred against me. I wonder, what I have done, trying to figure out what are needed to be done. I'm clueless and confused.
Why it is always hard for people to understand me? Why it is always me who has to understand others?
In my life, I have always tried to divert any conflict from myself. I react only when being struck directly. If you know me and observed me like the Watcher observed the Marvel Comics' Universe, you'll find that I am similar to the bee. If you do not want to be attacked, don't disturb the hive. For instance, when a guy from the top of OPP's administration accused us of making slanderous statement on OPP's reputation, I fought back. And if you realized, right now I'm having a cold war with two Illini; it happened because of the "Muck Fischigan" phrase. There a lot of thing that I can give as examples but it would take my whole lifetime to write it down. But that will make me no different than Scrooge McDuck. It will make me no different than a sore loser.
It will make me no different from the lowlife that attacked me.
As I reflected back in my life, I realized, that I lived my life the way I was dictated. By my parents, by friends, by the schools, by the media, by the government, by the Law of Physics and by God. From now on, I am going to decide my own destiny. I'll write up my own philosophy. Plato, Socrates, Tun Sri Lanang, Napolean, Peter, Einstein, Sun Tsu, Bush, Asoka, Vajiravuht, Mahathir, Mao, watch out. I'll make you to turn over in your grave, tomorrow.
Why am I writing this?
I don't know. "There's no reason in life...". I can't say that I can agree with that. There's reason. There are reasons. It's just that it is too hard to find it. The reason is so deep, it's beyond the event horizon's boundary. It's in the void. But when you think you know what the reasons are, another realization will creep up into your empty mind. Everything comes head to head. Suddenly, the whole reasons don't confer with each other. If you say I am gibberishing...ask yourself this question, is there God? If there is, how do you know?
Whatever the answer might be, I personally believe in God. But sometimes, where you read too much, anything can happen. Are you familiar with the Theory of Everything? A friend of mine who is in M.I.T. gave an equation, N = NP. Just pray that N does not equal to NP. If it does, then, Islam, Christianity, Judaism... will become obsolete.
One reason of life...is it love?
Love is so beautiful. So beautiful that you'll feel as if you've set your feet in heaven's uppermost level. So beautiful as if there is nothing more important than love. Yet, love can be painful. So painful that you feel like your heart is being crush by a morningstar slowly. I cried once, in the dark. While I was crying, I thought amazingly a lot. It's like every thought that can be thought by a human passed through my consciousness within a short frame of eternity. A computer would crash but for a human - insanity. From love, anger will emerge. A burning fire, hotter than the white dwarf's, worse than hell, runs awild in one's mind. Maybe what Yoda said in Star Wars is the truth. Fear leads to anger, anger leads to hatred, hatred leads to the dark side...
God, thy love is endless. Love thy humble servant. Please.
3
I saw The Wizard of Oz just now. Yeah, the classic movie which won a lot of Oscars. Now I remember where I heard that familiar "Somewhere over the rainbooooooww...where the skies are blue...where the dreams that you dare to dream do come true".It's Dorothy singing the song. Sweet. You know what I've learned from that movie? I've learned that all of us do have some hidden abilities. It's just that we don't know it. We just need to explore ourselves a little bit further. If we are going to be lucky, we'll find something new inside ourselves. What the heck, it's just a stupid motion picture but I still like it. It's a classic. Nevertheless, Star Wars is the the best. Trekkies suck a lot.
Well, I bought a new shoe today. It's Etnies and it cost me about only 30 bucks. The initial price was $89 but the price really went down after a year in the market. Well, it's a nice shoe and I like it. A real value for my money. I was about to buy a Nike's Air shoe at about $64.99 but due to my superior consumer conscience, I spent a few hours in a mall called Briarwood Mall (it's a mall in Ann Arbor) just to find a nice shoe with a nice price tag. My virtuous effort paid off. Hmmm...talk about practicing what I've learned in Commerce at the Malay College. I bet Mr. Mastor will be proud of me. :)
Somebody called me a sore loser today. Well, because this is my domain, I can write whatever I like here whether the grammar is right or not. By the way, I am above gramm'e'r. but being too tired to argue with him, I'll take a third party view of the situation. It all start when this one guy posted the glorious phrase of "Muck Fischigan" at a mailing list. I was definitely pissed off by that statement. Talking about taking the stance of "holier than thou". Well, as time passed by, I learned that U of Mich has a respectable football team (I must stress here that football doesn't mean soccer. American does play a lot of weird stuffs. They call their baseball tournament a world series when only the American plays it. Cricket, baseball...football, soccer). So, I made a statement "Action speaks louder than words". And he got pissed off. I was definitely happy with my ability to rise his blood pressure. And, what made me happier was Michigan defeated that particular university 46-20(after that guy said that his university is the greatest, better than anybody's...I guess God is nothing to him coz he is the greatest, right?) . I kept quiet after that.
Unfortunately, in the end, they managed to have the last laugh as that "great university" instead of us managed to earn a place in the BCS. The Wolverine was defeated by the Buckeyes 26-26. I kept quiet about that too. But, hey he was happy with that and I definitely am not happy with that result but like what he said, it's just football. But noo, he must make a fuss about making to the BCS' bowl. I. as usual, will only open my mouth when action, speaks again. So, hell. At least it's nice to know that we have been in the Bowl a lot of time compare to that university. What am I talking about. I'm scraping it.
I saw The Wizard of Oz just now. Yeah, the classic movie which won a lot of Oscars. Now I remember where I heard that familiar "Somewhere over the rainbooooooww...where the skies are blue...where the dreams that you dare to dream do come true".It's Dorothy singing the song. Sweet. You know what I've learned from that movie? I've learned that all of us do have some hidden abilities. It's just that we don't know it. We just need to explore ourselves a little bit further. If we are going to be lucky, we'll find something new inside ourselves. What the heck, it's just a stupid motion picture but I still like it. It's a classic. Nevertheless, Star Wars is the the best. Trekkies suck a lot.
Well, I bought a new shoe today. It's Etnies and it cost me about only 30 bucks. The initial price was $89 but the price really went down after a year in the market. Well, it's a nice shoe and I like it. A real value for my money. I was about to buy a Nike's Air shoe at about $64.99 but due to my superior consumer conscience, I spent a few hours in a mall called Briarwood Mall (it's a mall in Ann Arbor) just to find a nice shoe with a nice price tag. My virtuous effort paid off. Hmmm...talk about practicing what I've learned in Commerce at the Malay College. I bet Mr. Mastor will be proud of me. :)
Somebody called me a sore loser today. Well, because this is my domain, I can write whatever I like here whether the grammar is right or not. By the way, I am above gramm'e'r. but being too tired to argue with him, I'll take a third party view of the situation. It all start when this one guy posted the glorious phrase of "Muck Fischigan" at a mailing list. I was definitely pissed off by that statement. Talking about taking the stance of "holier than thou". Well, as time passed by, I learned that U of Mich has a respectable football team (I must stress here that football doesn't mean soccer. American does play a lot of weird stuffs. They call their baseball tournament a world series when only the American plays it. Cricket, baseball...football, soccer). So, I made a statement "Action speaks louder than words". And he got pissed off. I was definitely happy with my ability to rise his blood pressure. And, what made me happier was Michigan defeated that particular university 46-20(after that guy said that his university is the greatest, better than anybody's...I guess God is nothing to him coz he is the greatest, right?) . I kept quiet after that.
Unfortunately, in the end, they managed to have the last laugh as that "great university" instead of us managed to earn a place in the BCS. The Wolverine was defeated by the Buckeyes 26-26. I kept quiet about that too. But, hey he was happy with that and I definitely am not happy with that result but like what he said, it's just football. But noo, he must make a fuss about making to the BCS' bowl. I. as usual, will only open my mouth when action, speaks again. So, hell. At least it's nice to know that we have been in the Bowl a lot of time compare to that university. What am I talking about. I'm scraping it.
Saturday, December 01, 2001
2
I am chatting with Adam. I found it hard to make any sense out off any of his words. Maybe he's having too much carbon monoxide in his lung and finally seeing the star in his head.
Being awake in the middle of the night is awful. Sitting in front of the computer with the mIRC programming running is even worse. I must log off. I must but what can I do after logging off? Sleep? Insomnia. So, I really have no choice. The only thing I can do right now is sit in front of the computer and write. This is exactly what I am doing. I'm writing rubbish.
Well, what is the latest news...ahh..yes, George Harrison has just passed away. He was one of the Beatles' members. Do you listen to the Beatles? They are nice. My favorites are "Hey, Jude" and "In My Life". I remember, I used to play my father Beatles' CD while playing Civilization 2. So, you can expect me to hear "It's Been Hard Days' Night" at 3 o'clock in the morning while sending a few of my nuclear missiles to Chicago. I'm missing computer games. Civilization 3 is out but I haven’t gotten my hand on that damn game. AAAAAAAARRRGGGHHH!!! Life is horrible. Work, work, work. Why must I do all the homeworks? Can't I just read the book and get straight As for my exam? AAAAAAAARRRGGGHHH!!! The final is just around the corner. The dreadful Econ101, the pain-in-the-ass Math116, the annoying His152, the confusing Chem125 and the too-thick-textbook Chem130. At least I know I won't fail any of the courses. Hmm, amazing. I suddenly realized that there is actually something that I can be happy about. All of this while, it's a huge possibility that I'll get above 3.00 for my GPA. Amazing but still, I can't believe the Wolverines lost 26-20 to the Buckeyes!!! Sheeesh. There goes the Rose Bowl but looking at the bright side, the Wolverines can easily win the Citrus Bowl. Hmm, a third bowl in 4 years...
I think I'll logoff now. It's better for me to hear some music instead waiting for people to log into the mIRC. So, asta la vista baby.
I am chatting with Adam. I found it hard to make any sense out off any of his words. Maybe he's having too much carbon monoxide in his lung and finally seeing the star in his head.
Being awake in the middle of the night is awful. Sitting in front of the computer with the mIRC programming running is even worse. I must log off. I must but what can I do after logging off? Sleep? Insomnia. So, I really have no choice. The only thing I can do right now is sit in front of the computer and write. This is exactly what I am doing. I'm writing rubbish.
Well, what is the latest news...ahh..yes, George Harrison has just passed away. He was one of the Beatles' members. Do you listen to the Beatles? They are nice. My favorites are "Hey, Jude" and "In My Life". I remember, I used to play my father Beatles' CD while playing Civilization 2. So, you can expect me to hear "It's Been Hard Days' Night" at 3 o'clock in the morning while sending a few of my nuclear missiles to Chicago. I'm missing computer games. Civilization 3 is out but I haven’t gotten my hand on that damn game. AAAAAAAARRRGGGHHH!!! Life is horrible. Work, work, work. Why must I do all the homeworks? Can't I just read the book and get straight As for my exam? AAAAAAAARRRGGGHHH!!! The final is just around the corner. The dreadful Econ101, the pain-in-the-ass Math116, the annoying His152, the confusing Chem125 and the too-thick-textbook Chem130. At least I know I won't fail any of the courses. Hmm, amazing. I suddenly realized that there is actually something that I can be happy about. All of this while, it's a huge possibility that I'll get above 3.00 for my GPA. Amazing but still, I can't believe the Wolverines lost 26-20 to the Buckeyes!!! Sheeesh. There goes the Rose Bowl but looking at the bright side, the Wolverines can easily win the Citrus Bowl. Hmm, a third bowl in 4 years...
I think I'll logoff now. It's better for me to hear some music instead waiting for people to log into the mIRC. So, asta la vista baby.
